Beginnings

First sentences of writing projects I never finished and some comments on them:

 

1. As the sun set on the shore, the moon shone brightly through the clouds over the sea.

This is from something I wrote nearly six years ago. The rest of it doesn’t get any less cheesy. It was a phase of my life (which is probably ongoing) where I tried really hard to sound sophisticated, but in retrospect, I just laugh.

 

2. A voice carried over the waves, across time, riding on the wind.

Ah, the personification. I probably still overuse personification. To those, like me, who are fascinated with describing objects in unnecessarily artistic ways to make them appear very different than they actually are, I highly recommend The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak, which I am currently reading.

 

3. In a world that had become shades of grey to me, the ballroom gleamed with color.

I am still working on this one, so I can’t make fun of it quite as much. I’m not even sure I fully understand what I meant by this sentence. When I wrote it, and actually the entire first page, I had no idea what the plot would be, who the main character was (not even a gender), or really anything at all besides a very particular image of a ballroom.

 

4. A sunrise stained the sky, oblivious to the ominous clouds opposite it.

More personification, of course! I’m a pretty auditory person, and I write very much by sound, so the accidental alliteration (ha! See what I did there? It was even accidental!) does not surprise me.

 

This has been a self-critique with Rachel. Tune in next time for something equally as unusual–or maybe not.